Last night was an exercise in patience. Thankfully, it yielded good results.
Days ago, the boyfriend suggested we make a meal together. I immediately jumped at the opportunity to create (and eat) a meal together as a team. Friday, I received a text from him indicating he had picked up some ingredients. When I arrived at his apartment, he was ready to cook.
As I was standing there watching him pull out pots and pans, I found myself feeling helpless. For more than a year, I have been used to cooking meals for myself (or my roommate). I am no longer used to this method of “cooking as a team,” and honestly, I found myself upset that I was not part of the planning process.
Between snapping asparagus stalks and boiling water, I let the boyfriend know my feelings. He indicated that he had picked out ingredients based on my food tolerances. He thought that buying the ingredients was a helpful move. I agree, it was, but I think some of my control issues surrounding the kitchen surfaced. Simply put, I am used to being head chef in the kitchen. I don’t like that power being taken away from me.
As I stood there feeling upset and hurt, I realized something huge: I need to loosen the reins. For the first time in a long time, I am in a happy and healthy relationship. I want to be able to share things that I love (like cooking) with my partner. Thankfully, we have created an open and honest relationship from the start. And despite the initial hiccups of our team cooking, we ended up sharing a beautiful meal with one another that both sustained our bodies and spirits.
When things don’t go as you had expected or planned, it’s best not to get worked up. Just be honest, straightforward and move on. Otherwise, you might miss out on enjoying an incredible meal with someone you love.