Compromise in the Kitchen

Last night was an exercise in patience. Thankfully, it yielded good results.

Days ago, the boyfriend suggested we make a meal together. I immediately jumped at the opportunity to create (and eat) a meal together as a team. Friday, I received a text from him indicating he had picked up some ingredients. When I arrived at his apartment, he was ready to cook.

As I was standing there watching him pull out pots and pans, I found myself feeling helpless. For more than a year, I have been used to cooking meals for myself (or my roommate). I am no longer used to this method of “cooking as a team,” and honestly, I found myself upset that I was not part of the planning process.

Between snapping asparagus stalks and boiling water, I let the boyfriend know my feelings. He indicated that he had picked out ingredients based on my food tolerances. He thought that buying the ingredients was a helpful move. I agree, it was, but I think some of my control issues surrounding the kitchen surfaced. Simply put, I am used to being head chef in the kitchen. I don’t like that power being taken away from me.

As I stood there feeling upset and hurt, I realized something huge: I need to loosen the reins. For the first time in a long time, I am in a happy and healthy relationship. I want to be able to share things that I love (like cooking) with my partner. Thankfully, we have created an open and honest relationship from the start. And despite the initial hiccups of our team cooking, we ended up sharing a beautiful meal with one another that both sustained our bodies and spirits.

When things don’t go as you had expected or planned, it’s best not to get worked up. Just be honest, straightforward and move on. Otherwise, you might miss out on enjoying an incredible meal with someone you love.


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Categories: Creations


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4 Comments on “Compromise in the Kitchen”

  1. Kelly
    July 25, 2011 at 3:38 pm #

    This and your first post are my favorites so far… I love the openness and honesty and the willingness to explore serious personal issues. Also, I love you! :)

  2. October 19, 2011 at 9:41 am #

    I have control issues in the kitchen as well! It’s taken a while, but my boyfriend and I have started to get the team-cooking thing down pat. It’s nice to be with someone who enjoys cooking as much as I do. It’s especially nice when I don’t feel like cooking and he does it for me. Unfortunately, I’m pretty competitive, so I have to force myself to realize that it’s a good thing he’s such a good cook, or else I’d never get a cooking break. :)

    • October 19, 2011 at 10:30 am #

      It’s SO extremely helpful when your partner likes to cook. I think it just makes it all around a more enjoyable experience. Glad you have that in your life too!


  1. - September 28, 2011

    [...] this was one of the first times the boyfriend and I have cooked together. Over the summer, we had a slight debacle in the kitchen and I think both of us were hesitant to try again. I liked the way we operated in the kitchen last [...]

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