This dish was just not a popular one this week.
I tried making Mama Pea’s Pineapple Stir Fry, but I just wasn’t a fan. My vegetables were too crunchy, the sauce was overpowering, and I felt like I was drowning in pineapple chunks. Sometimes, a recipe just isn’t suited for your tastebuds – and that’s okay. Doesn’t mean it’s bad, just not your style. Same goes for certain bloggers.
I’ve been amazed since finding the blog and forum. I had no idea this existed until I friend told me I was mentioned in the bloggers they missed category. Of course, that made my day. It made me feel good to see I was actually missed (as it would make anyone feel, naturally). I think any human likes to be liked in some capacity, and even missed.
When I shut down my old blog, I wasn’t very vocal about this new space, and so it makes sense that people would think I just stopped blogging or disappeared. I didn’t. I’m here, waving my hand. I’m here, eating lots of different kinds of food (that you don’t see). I’m here, running several days a week and taking these really neat dance classes. I’m here, staying up much too late watching bad Netflix movies (that hasn’t changed). In many ways, I am the same person. But in so many ways, I’m not. And I needed a new space for my words and, more importantly, my new life.
Bottom line, I was just very, very tired of that style of writing. The more time went on, the more I felt like I was just trying to gain pageviews, leading me to blogger fame and popularity. I was jealous of the bloggers getting book deals, given my background and degrees in writing. Sometimes, I’m still jealous – even though a book from my blog wouldn’t be at all representative of the story I’d like to tell. Thinking back to the way I used to think and feel about blogger popularity makes me feel all ick inside. I felt almost obsessed with blogging back in 2008/09. It was really very unhealthy. In order to “fit in,” I thought I needed to assimilate and be like everyone else. That didn’t work in high school. Why did I think it’d work now? Throughout the midst of it, I lost track of why I was writing in the first place. It wasn’t a place I wanted to be.
Take that terrible attitude, a complete 180 life change, and you’ve got me quitting a blog. I’ve quit few things in my life, but that old space was something I had to let go. I didn’t feel bad. I knew those who cared would keep reading and following. Those who didn’t care – well, that’s just fine. The new digs may not be their taste, and that’s perfectly a-okay. I couldn’t forget the past and move on fully when I was constantly reminded of who I was, and who I was with. There are new people in my life, and they don’t need to see the past through a website housing thousands of photos.
Privacy is such a gift. That’s why I now keep it close, and I just don’t reveal everything.
I really like blogging now. I write what I want to write about. I write whenever I want. I include details about my life – but not everything. I read bloggers I care about. I comment if I have something to say. I just view if I don’t.
I like this new home. I think I’ll stay.