It should come as no surprise that (like everyone else around here) that I’ve come back from Thanksgiving feeling full.
I’ve been filled up in many good ways: filled with love; filled with good food, company, and conversation; filled with a certain holiday and fall spirit.
But I’m also feeling overly full in a few ways too. I’ve been overly indulgent. I’ve been splurging. Eating too much. Spending too much. Wasting time that could be fulfilling.
Like so many of you out there, I aim toward a balanced lifestyle. With some extra time to meditate over the past week, I’ve realized that I’m currently out of balance. Even if an tells me that I’m doing okay, I still feel a need for change.
Mentally, I feel I’m at the best I’ve been in years. My work is rewarding. My personal writing seems to be improving, little by little. I’m in love with a good man. Most of my relationships with others are healthy and happy. I feel I’ve really come into my own, have really become Rose.
However, physically, I feel different. Some recent changes have caused me to put on a few pounds, and they are nagging. I’m not the type of person that fixates on weight for looks purposes. I do, however, fixate on my health. And when I begin to feel unhealthy, I try and look at the root of the problem, where it began.
I’ve said it before, but I really took a long, extended vacation after I graduated from graduate school. I truly stopped caring about my health. It began feeling challenging, bothersome, and not worth the effort. Now, 10 pounds more later, my attitude is changing. I don’t like feeling uncomfortable. I want this to change. I’m done with the vacation, completely.
Not only do I want to be mentally happy, but I want my body to feel worked and used. I want to feel strong and healthy again. I want to lay my head down at the end of the night with the feeling that I accomplished almost everything I could in that one day.
So, I’m going to start making some changes. They aren’t going to be easy. I’m going to miss snacking on potato chips (in large quantities) when I’m anxious. I’m going to miss skipping a workout on the weekend because “it’s the weekend.” I’m going to miss all of the unhealthy habits I’ve acquired over the years.
But at the same time, I’m not going to miss them at all. Because at my best Rose, I am a healthy Rose. Thankfully, I have support from the important people in my life to get back to my true healthy roots. I hope those of you reading are in that same category as well.