You can tell whether I’m really happy or really down based on my posting schedule. Lately, it’s been on the down, perhaps even anxious, side. So that means I don’t blog. Thankfully, most things in life are temporary: especially moods, feelings, and thoughts. It’s pretty cool to think about how much control we have over our own minds. It’s just making the choice to actually control it. Nevertheless, I am slowly pulling myself out of an anxious time period. And I am extremely thankful for my good friends, loving family, and all of the random wonderful people who pop up in unexpected places.
Last week, Cat and I had a Tuesday night wine session. These have been happening more frequently, and I’m sort of in love with it. I think I made these enchiladas that night, but now I don’t even remember.
This is a Weight Watchers friendly recipe, though I have been off plan for about two weeks. I’m still losing weight, so I must have learned something in that process. Nevertheless, I think wine nights are going to become a regular fixture until June when Cat moves out. I think we are both now mourning the change that’s about to happen. Of course, it’s wonderful & good & all of that. But it is still a change, of which we will still feel the weight of one another’s absence. I am just thankful she’s (literally) moving a house away, and not states away. She will still be in my backyard, and I in hers. Change can be scary and beautiful at once.
I did a reading last week at an art gallery in Pittsburgh. I read about 10 short-short stories, or prose-poems, whatever you want to call them. They were well received and, in fact, an editor from a literary journal asked me if they could publish a piece in the fall. I think that was the easiest publication I’ve received. I racked myself with anxiety in the days leading up the reading because I felt unprepared. I was also nervous about seeing lots of people I haven’t seen in a while. But of course – like everything in life – it all went well and here I am with an upcoming publication to boot.
My half marathon is also fast-approaching. Maybe now you can see why I’ve been so nervous lately. All of the 10 weeks have training have led to this, and although I’m confident I can successfully beat my last half marathon time, I am still worried about logistics: getting there, finding my friend, mentally getting through over two hours of running. Crossing the finish line. Wish me luck.
This week I’ve decided to start harnessing some things that have been missing in my life. I’m buying tickets for concerts, looking into a photography class, brainstorming a crafting project with a friend, and thinking about changing my career. Yep, that’s a lot. But of course I am doing this. I am also my most active when I am anticipating change
Love and light to all of you out there. Take care of yourself this week.