Bind & CrEATe

After five weeks of spending my Tuesday nights indoors, I finally have something fantastic to show for it – my very own stained glass lamp.

I grew tremendously through this class. I’ve taken plenty of craft classes in the past, but none quite like the Beginner to Stained Glass course at the Glass Place. In May, I had no idea what I was getting into. I didn’t realize the blood, sweat, and tears (or rather, cutters, grinders, foil, and soldering) that went into creating something so beautiful (I should have known). But it was all worth it during those last final moments of class, our tops finally affixed to a lamp base, our efforts burning bright. I chose a piece of glass that seemed to best represent me and, ironically, these are the colors I see most while doing my daily meditation.

I couldn’t believe how much the colors of the glass changed as I lit the bulb. I never expected the lamp to look so dark, actually. For a moment, I found myself disappointed, as if I’d chosen the wrong glass. But now I see the beauty in the dark night light, and more than anything I’m just proud of what I accomplished. This is the glass in its natural state, without light:

You’ll never quite know what it takes to put together a stained glass lamp until you actually do it. I cut each panel of this top from a large sheet of glass. I then cut out the pattern, using a grinder to buffer the edges. I foiled the edges (that’s what creates that black line), and then got to work soldering the entire lamp shade together. Toward the end, we attached a “cap” to our lamps using the soldering device.

One of my favorite parts of the process is using what’s called “Patina” on the silver foiling. It turns those light shades into a rich dark, making the lamp look much more professional, hiding any obvious blemishes. Sometimes I can’t even believe I crafted this – I am in love.

For those participating in Project 3 of ARTicipate, the word is…

Entries should be posted on Monday, July 2. For those without a blog, a round-up will be posted Wednesday, July 4. You can email your entry to Frankie at tobefrank AT gmail DOT com.

If this word looks unfamiliar, you may remember it by reading this definition. Apparently, I’ve been misspelling this word for years.

My apologies for not posting about this word earlier, and I hope you can join both Frankie and me!

I’ve been overwhelmed this month. Of course, as is my style, I signed up for too much. This would be fine if I felt more emotionally stable right now. But I don’t. I am restless. Things are not at all easy or normal at the moment. I am positive and know that eventually they will be. But in the background of this blog, more work needs to be done on my Self. I’m getting there and eventually I will stop be vague – and share. All I can say is: thank god for my daily meditation/kriya. 

1. Work let me buy this camera. I can’t tell you how I feel about this. Had I known the answer would be a fast “yes” I would have asked for it sooner. My job has improved ten-fold. This camera is going to provide many more creative opportunities for me. In addition, raises and promotions are being discussed this week. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

2. After work let me buy the camera, I took this picture. Last Wednesday, I got to go on a field trip to an offsite lab at a national park. I really like this photograph. The researcher – a high school teacher – is working with tadpoles and the effect RoundUp has upon a tadpole’s growth and development. I never knew being a science writer would be this cool.

3. On Fathers Day, I impressed my father. I had no idea my golf swing was so fantastic. Neither did my dad. Now I think we’ve created a Father’s Day tradition (he’s still trying to pawn off a set of ladies clubs onto me. I might accept now.)

4. Last week, at a birthday celebration, I enjoyed this berry-flavored gazpacho. I’m so thankful for gracious neighbors. I’m happy with where I live and the ways in which I enjoy those around me.

Non-photographed mentions: This week, I finish up my stained glass class and will be putting the finishing touches on my desk lamp. (Pictures to follow). Additionally, my softball team is 0-4, with only four games to go. I doubt we’ll see a “W” at all this season. My brain is conjuring up ideas for this week’s ARTicipate, and I’m hoping I can produce something I’m actually proud of. I also have a wedding guest book to create – so perhaps I can kill two birds with one stone. In contemplation? Starting the Insanity workout. I’ve seen too many ripped friends not to consider it. I’m really ready to lose these last 10 lbs already.

Well, patience has gone and done it again. Reared its ugly head at me. Given me quite the struggle. Challenged me at my highest points. Fought me at the lowest ones. Made me question my self, my life, my love. I wouldn’t have it any other way right now. I’m finally, finally starting to embrace the way things are. It’s just a passionate journey of love and chaos.

The last time I posted about patience, I lost patience with myself for my lack of posting on the subject. Gee whiz. I think I’ve gotten better since then. Instead of beating myself up over all the chaos, I’m trying to find love in all of it. And, the more love I find amidst the wreckage, the better I feel.

For starters, this kriya/meditation is really helping. Today marks Day 12, and I’m still noticing things in a different light. It’s as if I’ve finally received the right prescription and can see the way the world really looks. How my words provoke actions from others. How my silence speaks loudly sometimes. How when I slow, truly slow my body & mind, some wonderful & lovely things start to emerge. Ideas I didn’t know where in there. Feelings of acceptance being born. A giant armless hug wrapping itself around my body.

I’m realizing it’s okay that I’m a passionate person. I want for things. I try and make things happen. I love people & things with all my heart sometimes. I have high expectations of myself and others. I want to capture this life wholeheartedly. I want to be around people who can feel this love, this warmth. I want us all to trudge through the chaos and the muck in love and with passion. I want to constantly feel things. I want to consistently learn.

But here’s the rub – I can’t have all of that. Sometimes, it’s too much to feel like that. I can’t make things happen as I want. Some people won’t accept my love. Those around me might let me down. My life may not always be lovely in the moment. I want always get what I want. I won’t always learn the way I expected.

And that is all 100% okay. I may not believe that it is okay. But it is okay and even good. 

In therapy yesterday, my counselor reminded me to be patient about a particular issue I keep bringing up. She told me that over time, things will start to reveal themselves. Upon reflecting and letting that digest, I’ve figured out the only thing I can do is trust. Believe in the universe. Trust those around me. And, more importantly, believe in myself. That maybe – the less I want things, the sooner I can have them.

There is such a power in letting go. I thought I was trusting. But the truth is, my faith has been squashed over the years. I’m not sure how to build it back up, but I know that wishing for things and hoping on a prayer isn’t going to get me what I want. It’s patience that will get me there. God damn you, patience. You’ve gone and done it again. But, this time – I thank you.

Hello Friends,

Frankie and I have decided to alter the ARTicipate project specifications. Originally, we planned on posting a new prompt every week, but we’ve decided to change it to every two weeks instead. We feel that one week is just too short of a time for us (and our fellow creators) to create something based on the prompt. It will work the same way, just with two weeks between the prompt and the project resulting from that prompt. As always we hope you’ll join us on the journey, and create something for the current prompt Green, over the next week and half.

Looking forward to seeing what everyone creates next Monday!

-Rose

PS. Have a lovely weekend!!