I am coming around. Today, I feel like lifting off this gloomy layer and stepping into another. It’s ironic, considering the Pittsburgh weather.
The past several months have been a bit of a whirlwind, and I now find myself an independent lady once more. I’ve thought of how to address this via blog for quite some time, ultimately deciding just a sentence would do. You get the point, I think. And I’m sure you know I don’t feel like talking about it.
The interesting thing about spending so much time with another person is that after it’s ended you forget how to spend time alone. What a Friday night feels like with no plans. What Sunday breakfasts are like when they’re alone. What a summer with yourself can create.
I’ve routinely engaged in a number of hobbies and interests, but none of them fit quite right at the moment. My stained glass class ended. The softball season is coming to a close. The half marathon came and went. And it just feels too hot for the kitchen. I haven’t known what to do with myself.
And I haven’t been doing a whole lot in terms of creation. Instead, I’ve reverted to my natural Rose ways and returned to sociability. Recently: I went to both Avenue B and Root 174. I saw Andrew Bird. I discovered the Pillow Project, an event incorporating improvisational dance and “honest, jazzed expressions of the spontaneous moment.” It was probably one of the coolest things I’ve seen all summer.
Amidst the social activity has been short bouts of relaxation. Watching lots of Gossip Girl. Porch sitting with the roommate and a friend. Reading (on very brief occasions). Spending nights going to bed very early.
Despite all the present upheaval and future change, I’m still the same me that I was before. Maybe a little weakened, but my resolve is present. I fully intend on resuming my projects: visiting a restaurant, having an adventure, and making a craft each month. I hope to put more miles on these shoes. And I want to continue being a healthier, happier me through diet, exercise, and meditation.
I haven’t really taken many photos this summer, so my album has fallen by the wayside. But I do have one. My hair is getting longer, so that’s something. And I still love me some wine. I guess this is all I’ve got to show for now:
I’m so happy to read this post Rose. It takes time, and I’m glad you took all the time you needed and will continue to take more. And continue to drink wine, of course. Always wine.
Wine 4 Lyfe!
Oh, Rose. No matter how badly you’re hurting, it will pass, and you will not only be happy in this way again, but stronger than ever before. I second the wine, as well as time with yourself and with friends and family. I feel as though life is a constant process of restructuring. I wish you patience and self-kindness as you figure out how you fit amongst these changes. There are certainly great things ahead, including long, beautiful hair
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You are such a sweet friend. Thank you for these kind words and thoughts. I laughed at the end
Perhaps a reinvention is best.
Am sorry to hear about what happened. But know that u are strong and with each day, each happening, we just becoming stronger and better at handling things. Something good will come your way. (: God always wants the best for us. (: take care.
Thank you. I have to believe that, or I’ll go insane.
This is my dad’s recipe for breakups too – go out there! It kind of puts the “learning how to be solo” plans on hold while you regroup, give yourself some love, and remember all of the good things about life that have always been there.
You’re a strong cookie. You might feel a little weaker right now, but that’s okay. You aren’t the type of girl to let anything defeat you. Time helps and you’ll be back stronger, wiser, and perhaps with a greater perspective. Trust, my friend!
Also, I want to try Avenue B so badly! Possible future date?
Absolutely! I can’t wait until you’re back in town. Or wait, are you?
I am back, but not really settled. I move into my new place in Regent Square in August, so after that would be a great time for a meet-up!
I love you Rose
Hurt and disappointment are a part of life. No matter how you’re feeling now, things will get better.
So sorry to hear about your hurting heart. I went through a period like this almost exactly a year ago, and man oh man, I never thought I’d feel like me again. And who IS this “me” without that one person? Anyway, you know time dulls all wounds and makes life bearable again. I’m thinking of you