#WEverb12: What have you soaked in this year? (Baths, sun, ideas?) How did it affect your mentality?
For the first time in two and a half years, I took a bath at my house last week. Because the drain has been royally effed for years, filling it up would’ve only led to a permanent bathroom swimming pool. But I had a crick in my neck, and the only solution was to soak in Epsom salts. So that’s what I did–for nearly an hour–on a quiet Wednesday evening.
Soaking in the candlelight gave me time to reflect on the year. The ups and downs. The new beginnings and closing chapters. How very quickly 12 months can elapse and how different you can feel afterward.
I started this year full of hope and energy. I created several attainable projects for myself, a common habit of mine in the winter. For the first three or four months, I was on point. I took photographs. I built albums. I went running. I cooked and baked. (I still blame the cupcakes of last January on my slight weight gain in the early part of the year. But it was worth it.)
Somewhere along the way, I lost my steam. As my dad said just yesterday–”A chaotic relationship will lead to a chaotic life” and he was right. Off blog, throughout the months of April, May, and June, I spent a lot of time feeling frustrated and angry that what I wanted wasn’t happening. Turns out I was just looking in the wrong place.
So, I spent the summer with friends & family–soaking in good times again. Wine nights. Pool parties. Late nights. Afternoons in the garden or back deck with my roommate. More cooking and baking. Gradually, running came back. I took trips. I laid low. I threw myself back into work more seriously.
Basically, I got my calm back again. And everything started to feel right again.
I only now feel regretful that I didn’t document those hard times, because that’s part of living, and that’s a part I chose to keep invisible. I truly soaked in that experience, took it for all that it was worth, analyzed the hell out of it, meditated daily, thought of what I wanted, dreamed of actually having it.
And then sometime in October, things really fell into place for me. I finally felt free of all the chaos and truly embraced the calm again. I re-engaged once more in my passions. I began spending lots of time with a very good person. We traveled together. I saw different things. I started to remember those goals and aspirations again, in a more meaningful way. And ways to stick with it and achieve them this time around.
So quite simply: I soaked in myself this year. Of all the years I’ve lived, I got to know myself the best in 2012. Through strife and hard times. Through calm and peace. Through finally, finally spending the time I needed to on myself. And that has made all of the difference.