#WEverb12: What have you soaked in this year? (Baths, sun, ideas?) How did it affect your mentality?
For the first time in two and a half years, I took a bath at my house last week. Because the drain has been royally effed for years, filling it up would’ve only led to a permanent bathroom swimming pool. But I had a crick in my neck, and the only solution was to soak in Epsom salts. So that’s what I did–for nearly an hour–on a quiet Wednesday evening.
Soaking in the candlelight gave me time to reflect on the year. The ups and downs. The new beginnings and closing chapters. How very quickly 12 months can elapse and how different you can feel afterward.
I started this year full of hope and energy. I created several attainable projects for myself, a common habit of mine in the winter. For the first three or four months, I was on point. I took photographs. I built albums. I went running. I cooked and baked. (I still blame the cupcakes of last January on my slight weight gain in the early part of the year. But it was worth it.)
Somewhere along the way, I lost my steam. As my dad said just yesterday–”A chaotic relationship will lead to a chaotic life” and he was right. Off blog, throughout the months of April, May, and June, I spent a lot of time feeling frustrated and angry that what I wanted wasn’t happening. Turns out I was just looking in the wrong place.
So, I spent the summer with friends & family–soaking in good times again. Wine nights. Pool parties. Late nights. Afternoons in the garden or back deck with my roommate. More cooking and baking. Gradually, running came back. I took trips. I laid low. I threw myself back into work more seriously.
Basically, I got my calm back again. And everything started to feel right again.
I only now feel regretful that I didn’t document those hard times, because that’s part of living, and that’s a part I chose to keep invisible. I truly soaked in that experience, took it for all that it was worth, analyzed the hell out of it, meditated daily, thought of what I wanted, dreamed of actually having it.
And then sometime in October, things really fell into place for me. I finally felt free of all the chaos and truly embraced the calm again. I re-engaged once more in my passions. I began spending lots of time with a very good person. We traveled together. I saw different things. I started to remember those goals and aspirations again, in a more meaningful way. And ways to stick with it and achieve them this time around.
So quite simply: I soaked in myself this year. Of all the years I’ve lived, I got to know myself the best in 2012. Through strife and hard times. Through calm and peace. Through finally, finally spending the time I needed to on myself. And that has made all of the difference.
You are so right about how different things seem after just twelve months. I always downplay the new year as just another day, an arbitrary starting over point, but there is something to be gained by looking back on who we were a year ago and seeing how far we’ve come. I’ve had years where everything fell apart, years where I put myself back together and years where it was a little bit of both. The years that I remember most and even cherish the most are the ones that had some periods of hardship, periods where I lose myself a little, because it just makes the path from there to understanding feel that much more significant.
I love this post and the fact that you soaked up so much of yourself this year. And I am a huge fan of a good bath!
Oh, this past year. A lot of ups… and a lot of really, really hard parts. I journaled some of them, but now that things are good and I finally, finally feel settled in life, I have to remind myself that these parts, too, are important to write down. The good moments I’ll want to look back on again.
So glad you’re feeling good and comfortable, Rose. Wishing you the warmest of new years!
Beautifully said. I’ve had a very similar 2012.