Bind & CrEATe

I have been keeping my hands busy this week. Last night, Cat and I started working on holiday cards with the help of Nick. They are coming along quite well, and I suspect they may even be finished by next week, perhaps even on time for the holiday. I was amazed when I received a card promptly on Dec. 1 this year, and from a new mom! She certainly had her ducks in a row – she amazes me, my friend Jenny.

As per usual, I’ve been keeping my hands busy in the kitchen too. The two meals I created on Sunday were a big hit, and I even had to make another batch of each. Over the weekend, BF and I had dinner with my brother and his wife, followed by a comedy show. Brittany made up this great orzo salad using tomatoes, cucumbers, orzo and a little Italian dressing. I decided to replicate her version using some of my own favorite ingredients: lima beans, white beans, and broccoli.

I’ve never been able to capture steam as I’ve done here. That’s an accomplishment. This dish is very light, simple, and easy to make. I imagine it would be great for a “mom on the go.” It could certainly be marketed that way. Because I provided him with dinner, Nick called me “Mom Huber” last night, and it made me laugh. Sometimes, when I think about having a family, I start to feel amazed by all the women in my life who worked AND put a meal on the table in the same day. I have no idea. I can barely do it for myself now.

I think I’ve been keeping my hands busy because I’ve felt anxious lately. There was a death in BF’s family, an aunt of his whom I only got to know for a few short months. She seemed like a wonderful woman, alive and spirited, loving and kind – the sort of woman who helped keep a family close. She was extremely close with her two sisters. I saw her not two days before she passed, and I couldn’t believe the decline from the last time I’d seen her. It made me think about my grandmothers, who are all still alive. My grandmother really is the glue that holds our family together. I can’t imagine a life without her.

It will be a busy few days coming up here, being with BF and his family. Over the months we’ve dated, they’ve become a true family to me. I can’t imagine being anywhere else but by BF’s side.

It’s no secret that food can transport you to another time.

Sitting around the table with family.
Eating that one amazing funnel cake at the county fair.
Baking with a grandmother during youth.

But what about food associations with not-so-great memories?

Because that’s my relationship with tofu. I’m no a hater. I’ve loved the stuff for years. Even though I’ve made some of the worst batches of tofu in the world, I still crave the good stuff.

But, here’s the sore spot. When I used to think, see or dream of tofu (in any form): a person popped into my brain. This was a person I don’t want to see. A former relationship that’s long dead in the water. It all kept going back to him.

I didn’t think I could make tofu as well as he did.
I didn’t think I had the same sort of patience as he did.
I knew I wasn’t him, and I knew I ate his tofu all the time.

The link to tofu in my brain was all wrapped up in that person, and I thought: This needs to stop. I needed to perform some serious image therapy on myself and stop linking food I loved with someone who made me feel such incredible pain. So the other night, I did just that. And the result was well worth it.

I made my own barbeque marinade.
I pressed my own tofu blocks.
I cut my own tofu the way I wanted.
I asked my own roommate to put this in the oven, so a meal would be ready upon arrival.

I prepared, crEATed and enjoyed this meal by myself in my own way. And it was the best tofu I’ve eaten in years.

Recipe: Change-of-Mind Marinade for Tofu