Tag Archives: change

in search of: a healthy me

It should come as no surprise that (like everyone else around here) that I’ve come back from Thanksgiving feeling full.

I’ve been filled up in many good ways: filled with love; filled with good food, company, and conversation; filled with a certain holiday and fall spirit.

But I’m also feeling overly full in a few ways too. I’ve been overly indulgent. I’ve been splurging. Eating too much. Spending too much. Wasting time that could be fulfilling.

Like so many of you out there, I aim toward a balanced lifestyle. With some extra time to meditate over the past week, I’ve realized that I’m currently out of balance. Even if an tells me that I’m doing okay, I still feel a need for change.

Mentally, I feel I’m at the best I’ve been in years. My work is rewarding. My personal writing seems to be improving, little by little. I’m in love with a good man. Most of my relationships with others are healthy and happy. I feel I’ve really come into my own, have really become Rose.

However, physically, I feel different. Some recent changes have caused me to put on a few pounds, and they are nagging. I’m not the type of person that fixates on weight for looks purposes. I do, however, fixate on my health. And when I begin to feel unhealthy, I try and look at the root of the problem, where it began.

I’ve said it before, but I really took a long, extended vacation after I graduated from graduate school. I truly stopped caring about my health. It began feeling challenging, bothersome, and not worth the effort. Now, 10 pounds more later, my attitude is changing. I don’t like feeling uncomfortable. I want this to change. I’m done with the vacation, completely.

Not only do I want to be mentally happy, but I want my body to feel worked and used. I want to feel strong and healthy again. I want to lay my head down at the end of the night with the feeling that I accomplished almost everything I could in that one day.

So, I’m going to start making some changes. They aren’t going to be easy. I’m going to miss snacking on potato chips (in large quantities) when I’m anxious. I’m going to miss skipping a workout on the weekend because “it’s the weekend.” I’m going to miss all of the unhealthy habits I’ve acquired over the years.

But at the same time, I’m not going to miss them at all. Because at my best Rose, I am a healthy Rose. Thankfully, I have support from the important people in my life to get back to my true healthy roots. I hope those of you reading are in that same category as well.

xoxoxo

For nearly three years, I was the author of a food blog. I recounted my daily meals, jotted down exercise routines and shared almost every aspect of my life. I lived in a large city, held a great job and was in a committed relationship. I had a nice circle of friends. I also owned a cat.

Fast forward two years, and that life was entirely uprooted. I left the big city for a smaller one (closer to my family.) That great job turned into another great job, but with lower pay. I left behind the big city friends and reconnected with old chums. That committed relationship ended, and I traveled the journey of a single woman for a year. Then I met a great guy in the new city. I still own the cat.

In a blink, I left all old spaces (and faces) behind me, including the former food blog. It wasn’t easy. I faked being okay with the transition. But as my father has always said, most things in life are temporary. I watched as the pain stripped away over the year and finally a rebirth occurred. This is why Bind & CreEATe was born.

In that former life, I tried to compartmentalize everything. You see, I know these people – these really great people – who have one main passion in life. They are committed to the cause and stick to it. Over the years I’ve found myself envying those people. I thought that someone like me – with so many different interests – could never be successful in just one thing. And the truth is, I won’t be. That’s because I have the opportunity to be good at many things.

In leaving behind the past, I have left behind this way of thinking. I am the product of many things. My interests change over time. Sometimes, I just want to try something new. This is the reason I am me. This is the reason I have so many stories to share.

So for those of you out there who don’t know what your “main passion” is – stop trying to figure it out. Look around your life and what you love. This is what makes you who you are. Even if it doesn’t all seem to “fit together” on the surface. This is what binds you and creates your person.

This is why I’m writing here, in this space. Open and honestly, this is my journey.

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